Ned’s latest letter home

Dear Maugan, Kim, Jess and Todd,

Apologies for the rather terse communique last time (didn’t get published here, was too terse and sad after loss of Bermondsey 7). We didn’t have great weekends because the market was a bit quiet, and we seemed to be giving away an awful lot of free cheese which always makes me a bit grumpy.
Happily last week end was FANTASTIC. The market was busy and we have changed our sampling tactics, a move which has paid off rather well. So we sold 17 and a bit cheeses, which is great! Also we gave away 2% less cheese which has had a nice effect on our margins.
We used to leave a board of samples on the counter for people to help themselves. Which is very generous of us. The thing is that when the market is very busy people tend to take them without really noticing what they’re tasting. Also we tend to interact less with people that way. Of course what with the cheese being stupendous we get a lot of customers returning at the end of the day having tried everything else in the market. Which is nice. Recently however the rate of sampling to sales has not been so good. So now we keep hold of the board and offer it to people, so we’re getting more conscious attention from our samplees and interacting more with people. And it works.
It is however even more knackering as you are really talking much more to more people. I think the bits of my vocal chords that say things like ‘this is an unpasteurised cow’s milk cheese called Caerphilly’ are wearing thin. Also in the busier bits, as soon as you proffer the board you are immediately surrounded by a sea of shining expectant faces, which is very sweet but can get a bit overwhelming. As a result Joby and I seem to have evolved a sort of tag-team mongering style where we swap over the front position as one of us starts to wilt.
On Friday our dear old scales finally gave up the ghost. This was a bit wearing as it had just got busy. Thankfully we have lots of nice friends in the market so we weighed and priced up a load of pieces, then I left the redoubtable Thea alone on the stall while I tore off to get a new set. She was looking a bit frazzled when I got back but was quickly restored by the sight of our shiny new excitingly back lit scales. It is with gratitude that we send the old ones off to the happy weighing grounds in the sky, long live the new set!
I have spent the week in the garden working with my builder to turn out Fungus the Bogeyman swamp into a nice place to be. So now I am absolutely knackered and broke. We’ll have to work extra hard this week-end to pay for it. You are all invited round for the inaugural barbeque when it is done.
At great personal cost I have found a new cheese joke for you all. Here it is:
What do you call flying cheeses?
Curds of prey.
It is funny. I like it.
Carry on!
N

Gorwydd Water Wheel

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